There is a good chance that thanks to being socially awkward you’ve lost touch with former classmates, coworkers or friends. That’s normal. So how do you get back in touch?
Especially if you’re not in each other’s daily life then these things just slowly fade. It’s not that they don’t care or don’t want to talk to you anymore. Don’t take it personal.
It’s just that people get bogged down with their daily routine. Work, a hobby, family life; it just happens.
Again, the key here is to not take it personally! Your social awkwardness will likely go “see! they don’t want to talk to you!”.
They just get caught up in daily routines, so you have to make an effort if you want to get back in touch.
A simple message
Despite your brain telling you that getting back in touch is difficult it’s really not. If you have an email address or phone number then send them a short message. You can use the script down below:
Hey <former friend>,
It’s been a while since we’ve been in touch. Too long.
<optional extra line: We were in highschool/company/club/sport together>
I’d like to hear how you’re doing and what you’re up to these days. Can we meet for coffee some time?
That’s all. Keep it brief. No need to write them an essay.
Make sure you invite them to a place where it’s easy to talk. No cinema, no extremely loud club or bar. You’re there to catch up remember?
I usually prefer coffee, because it implies a meeting that lasts 60 minutes at the most and is low pressure.
Send the message and wait. They might reply, they might not.
What happens next?
Next, hopefully, you’ll grab a coffee together.
What if they don’t reply?
Don’t go checking your phone every 10 minutes to see if they’ve replied. It’s very tempting to do this, but not helpful at all. Because they might not see your message for the next few days. They might have changed email address or phone number. They might on holiday. They might be extremely busy.
It does NOT mean they are rejecting you!
If they haven’t replied in 2 weeks then you can send the message again.
Don’t get a reply then again? Don’t pursue any further. Move on to somebody is willing to reply.
What if they say no?
Then you can ask to reschedule. It might not be a good time for them now. Maybe another time works. Maybe you can schedule it for next month or later? Be flexible about this.
What if they say?!
Holy shit. You got a message back saying that they’d like to meet you for coffee!
Now it’s about to get serious. Don’t panic. You already have things in common with this person, so you can always talk about that. As for the rest, asking good question will help to let them do the talking.
Now comes the hardest part: go and do it. It’s so easy to just read this post and go “yeah I’ll do this tomorrow”.
We both know you won’t.
So copy the script for the message above, adjust it as you see fit and send it. It’ll be exciting, it’ll be nerve-wrecking, but who knows? They might just say yes and you might meet them soon!