You know that feeling? People only reach out to you when they need you. You don’t get invited to parties and when your friends go do something fun they forget to invite you.
That sucks. And it really hurts to be left behind like that.
Here are 3 things that you can do:
1 – Try connecting with new people
The people who you are with now and probably not quite your friends. They’re just there. They may be colleagues, classmates or people from uni/college. At any rate: you didn’t pick them.
One thing you can do is to pick your own people. That sounds challenging, but nowadays there are a lot of options.
Meetup is a great site to find likeminded people. There are groups for introverts and, depending on where you live, even groups for the socially anxious or socially awkward.
Have a look at meetup.com and see what meetups are being organized in your area. See what sort of past events they organized and if they appeal to you. Then look what events are coming up and RSVP for it. Next, you go, but that’s a topic for a different post.
There are online interest groups for absolutely everything these days. Google your interest + forum or + discord and see what pops up. Since these interactions are all online this will lower the barrier to trying to connect to those people. They might not have immediate physical events you can go to, but at least they will be likeminded people you can talk to.
2 – Organize your own event
If you’re not invited to anything then try turning the tables. Instead of hoping you’ll be invited just send invites yourself.
You can make your event as big or as small as you like, with small being more likely. Like gaming? See if you can invite some people to your house to play with you. Or how about inviting 2-3 people to come eat at your place? You don’t even have to cook; you can just order in.
Board games are also a great way of connecting to people. I wouldn’t recommend monopoly unless you want to instantly nuke your relationship, but a game like Settlers of Catan or a co-op game like one from the Pandemic series work very well at bringing people together.
Talk to the people who frequently organize stuff
This one is the hardest, but it does work. There will usually be a one or two people who are the organizers. Those are the people who get a group going and who make things happen.
Try talking to them and be open. Let them know that you’d like to be invited to the next event, or better yet, help organize it. That way it’ll be much harder to be left out next time.
Beating your social anxiety means taking small steps to build your confidence and your social skills. Your social anxiety won’t go away from one day to the next. I know that even the idea of inviting people over can be scary as hell, but if you keep doing stuff that only makes you comfortable then you’ll never get anywhere. So get going 😉.